It is perfectly safe to ship to most anywhere in the US and Canada if you do things right, like not sell to a new guy on a forum unless you do some serious research. I have probably mentioned this but I have shipped tens of thousands of packages around the world for my business and many hundreds of personal items, car or audio parts all over the US, Canada and quite a few other places.
I have shipped a $5k package to the UK $20k to Singapore. On a high ticket items I only accept a wire transfer to an account setup for that purpose only, once deposited it has gone through several banks, I take the money out before I ship the item(s).
When buying items, hundreds of things as well, I take all the precautions listed on PayPal, Ebay, etc....and look into the seller to ensure legit.
It would be great if all people where honest like most are but the few always cause all the trouble for the rest of us, always has been, always will be, we have to cover our butts every way possible.
I truly hope all of you get fully reimbursed for what has happened.
Rick